S1 E4: BONUS Meditation - Loving Kindness Practice for Families (Transcription)
DAWN WILLIAMS: Welcome to On Balance, a podcast for parents created by Blue School educators. We know that even in ideal circumstances, finding balance at home and in life can be a challenge. And now, we’ve been called on to be 24 hour a day parents while balancing work responsibilities and our own emotions during this difficult moment in time. If you're finding it particularly difficult, we’re here to partner with you. Together, we will find our way.
This is a bonus episode to our interview with Blue School teacher Annabelle Baylin in which Annabelle will share a loving kindness meditation for families.
ANNABELLE BAYLIN: This practice is called a loving kindness practice. And it’s a very classic mindfulness practice, in Buddhist terms, often referred to as a metta meditation. But we’ll call it a loving — loving kindness practice. It’s a really wonderful way to extend good wishes beyond ourself and also to ourselves. And I think especially in this time when I know I feel like I wish I could be helping more, I wish I could be extending myself more, then getting sometimes overwhelmed by this thought. I find that this act of sending loving kindness very intentionally is so uplifting, and it really does shift the way that I think about myself and about others, and helps me feel more connected. So this is a practice that you can do all together as a family, and I invite you to do this together. It’s a lovely way to think about the people who you want to send loving kindness to.
So I invite you to begin by finding a comfortable sitting posture. I like to sit cross-legged or on my knees if I’m sitting on the floor so I can sit up with a tall, long spine. And you might find that comfortable. Or if you’re sitting in a chair, that’s fine too. You can sit with your feet touching the ground or dangling, or you might even sit criss-cross in a chair. Whatever feels comfortable, as long as you can sit comfortably and upright. And if it feels comfortable to you, you can just allow your eyes to gently close. So you can help direct your focus inside. And if that doesn’t feel comfortable to you, that’s okay too, you can just allow your eyes to find a very soft gaze towards the floor. So you’re not really looking at anything, but you’re just kind of allowing your eyes to relax and zone out a little bit, but they’re still open. Whatever feels best to you. And let’s all start by taking three deep, long breaths through our nose. So breathing in deep into your belly. Breathing out long. Breathing in deep. Breathing out long. Breathing in deep. Breathing out long.
So in this practice, we’re going to be sending good wishes to lots of different people including ourselves. And I like to start by thinking about somebody who you love so much who loves you and who gives you so much love, who cares about you. And there are probably many people who come to mind, but for this practice see if you can just pick one person. And see if you can get their face very clear in your mind’s eye so it’s almost like you’re standing right in front of them, as though you’re going to say these words right to them. And I’m going to speak the words, and you can either say them to yourself inside, and imagine that you’re speaking the words to this beloved person, or if it’s helpful to you, you can also say them out loud. I find that with — when we do this practice with four and five year olds or five and six year olds, it’s helpful to say it out loud. But it’s your choice.
So we’re picturing this person and we can say, “May you be happy. May you be healthy and strong. May you be peaceful.” Try it one more time. Really imagining that you’re saying it right to this person who you love. “May you be happy. May you be healthy and strong. May you be peaceful.” And you can imagine that with your breath, as you breathe in and out, you’re sending these words right to this person and they’re receiving them. And just notice how you’re feeling in your body when you say these words. Think about this person who you love so much receiving your words. When you’re ready, you can just let that float away.
Now we’re going to bring up another person, and this one can be a little bit trickier sometimes. So I invite you to think about somebody with whom you’ve had maybe a difficult time recently. And so I wouldn’t pick the trickiest, the person you have the most conflict with, but maybe somebody who, you know, you just felt a little annoyed with today or recently. Or maybe you had an argument with or felt a little angry with for whatever reason. It could be something very small. And see if you can bring this person into your mind’s eye very clearly, so like they’re just standing right in front of you. Even though we’ve had all of those feelings surrounding this person, we’re going to practice sending those same words to that person.
So you can try it with me. “May you be happy. May you be healthy and strong. May you be peaceful.” Notice what it feels like to send words to somebody who you’re having a tricky time with. Can you imagine them receiving your words and feeling so happy, so uplifted by your generous words? Try it again. “May you be happy. May you be healthy and strong. May you be peaceful.” Notice how it feels in your body. Does it feel good? Is it an open feeling? Does it feel tight? Just notice. Whatever you’re feeling is okay. And practice sending those words. See if it changes as you keep practicing it.
Now we’re going to make it a little bit bigger, and we’re going to imagine Blue School and all your classmates, your teachers, everyone who works in the building at Blue School. All of the other kids. And even the building that we love so much. And you can imagine all of your friends and everybody in the community smiling. And you can even put yourself in this, because you’re part of this community. And you can send it — send these words to everybody, and to yourself as well. Say, “May we be happy. May we be healthy and strong. May we be peaceful.” Imagine all of the Blue School community receiving your words. And you’re feeling your words too. Notice how that feels.
Now you can make it even bigger if you want. You can go as big as you want. Maybe New York City. Or wherever you may be right now. The United States. Everybody in the world. All of the people who are helping around the world right now. We’re going to say those words to all of us. Make sure to put yourself in this too because you’re part of it. “May we be happy. May we be healthy and strong. May we be peaceful.”And really imagine everyone around the world feeling your wish and your good wishes, and you can feel that, too. Feeling it rippling out. Just notice how you’re feeling right now.
Take another deep breath in. And let it all the way out. You can gently open your eyes or bring your gaze back into the room. And so this is a practice that you can do anytime. And especially if you’re feeling like you wish you could do more, or you're feeling disconnected, this practice is so beneficial. And even more so when we think about people who we might have arguments with in our family, or with our friends, or missing friends, missing people, when we do this practice, it is so beneficial and so connecting. So I hope that this supports you in that way. Have a wonderful day.